Relax! Nothing is Under Control

When you try to control everything you enjoy nothing. And this week, I was like a walking, talking, working, mom zombie. There is very little that I usually feel like I have a handle on that is still within my control. And it’s been tough. This week I found myself grasping to control whatever I could, but it left me even more confused, exhausted, sad, and just out of touch. I wasn’t present for my family and I was feeling lost as to how to continue to give my best self to those I work with.

Then the tears came. And they came and they came. I could tell the inevitable breakdown was coming as I grasped at any little thing I could attempt to control. But it was too late. The spiral was in fast motion and the tears were brought on by a silly reminder of just how different life is. How much has changed and how even the simple escapes we often rely on {even a leisurely stroll through a store!} are a challenge to enjoy.

As the tears came so did the clarity. It didn’t stop the tears, but those went from sadness to the release of control. I was tired of being sad/frustrated/worried, while always trying to be strong. I needed to feel the feelings as I always encourage others to do.

By the time I let the last tear fall I was beyond exhausted, but more relaxed than I have been in weeks. There was an unanticipated calm after just letting everything out. God bless my husband for hearing me and understanding!

This current way of life has been taxing on everyone in their own unique way. Today I woke up and made a promise to myself to accept that I need to be okay with just being. Let the control go as best I can and just accept that for now I can let life guide me instead of trying to manage it all.

It’s not the first cry since life has changed so much. It likely won’t be the last. But it’s the one I needed.

We can’t control the wind, but we can control the sail. While we can’t control this situation, we can control our attitude and how we deal with it. And for my wellbeing, and that of my kids, I’m choosing to release control {the best I can} and find happiness.

Sometimes you just need a modified plan, a good laugh, and a strong drink.

Be kind to yourself. Days are hard, but they always get better. If you’re feeling stuck, pivot the plan and proceed onward again toward greatness.

Make it a great week.

K